Hi, Blog.

Hi Blog,
I've once again neglected you. But, I can explain. I have had all these thoughts swirling in my head and emotions on my heart but I'm hesitant to write them down. Why? Maybe because I don't want to remember these times? But, I do. These are building blocks of my life and even with the perceived "bad" times going on there is still SO much light in my life.

So..here we are. In Arizona. I wanna go home. It is beautiful here. The weather is pretty nice. But it is NOT home. I guess cliches are cliches because they are so true and you really can use them to describe a situation. My situation is, you never realllllly know how much you love something until you don't have it anymore. I miss my family. I miss my mama friends. I miss GRASS AND DIRT. Nora has to crawl around on rocks and concrete. She looks up at me with furrowed brow because it hurts her little knees but she wants to explore! The grass that we are allowed to touch here is pretty....um, crunchy. The kind of grass that is dead and slick and you slide on it.

Now, I know that this looks like complaining and well, it is. But this is my Blog and I can do that.

Now, more lets call it "venting." The family I had lined up out here fell through on me. I had a weird feeling about them anyway. A email longer than 3 words would have been nice though. I have emailed FIFTY TWO. thats 5-2 families about working for them and only about 16 have emailed back even to say "no." I had one interview. I didn't feel good about it anyway and it was really far away so I guess thats ok. ::sigh:: I had a phone interview Friday that seemed to go ok.

Wes is at a shop that is DEAD. D-E-A-D. Dead shop=no tattoos=no money. So thats really rough on him. He's great at providing for us so I know this is a great strain on him and his pride. My sweet sweet husband. I can see the frustration pulling his shoulders down and whacking him upside the head. My heart breaks. I contacted a woman named Tabatha that owns a tattoo shop in Chandler (south of us) and she started a group called ACT (Alliance of Christian Tattooers)and we went to her church today. It was just ok. I for sure did NOT feel like I was at home like how I feel at The Village. We sang a song today that I love and my heart welled up. That felt really good. I suppose we will give it a few weeks and see if we fit in there. Tabatha looked at Wes's portfolio and said she may be able to work out a guest spot for him and invited him to the ACT meet up on Wednesday.

The beat of my heart, light of my life, tiny lady that keeps me from sinking too far into the blues continues to grow and become more and more of a person. The way she turns towards me and curls her tiny body into mine when we lay down. She looks up at me pats my cheek and says, "Hi."
She is saying at least 1 new word a day. Sometimes 3-5 new words a day. She likes to put lids on things, and and play with her little animals and make them talk and walk. She loves her little tent and playing peek-a-boo. She has shown an interest in potty training and says "bye bye poo poo," anytime she sees a toilet, toilet paper, a sign for a bathroom or a door in a store towards the back that could possibly be a bathroom.
Yesterday we came out of a restaurant and when the wind is blowing a certain way you can smell the cattle farms. She started waving her arm in from of her nose and said, "Ewww. Poopoo." She kills me.

I am thankful for a wonderful mother-in-law that I can happily hang out with everyday. She respects me and I really respect her. We have a good relationship. I am thankful for our health. I am thankful that I am getting these moments to stay with my sweet girl and watch her grow and show her the world and be her primary caregiver. I am especially thankful for my husband for being strong and understanding. I am thankful that he smiles at me everyday and hugs me and kisses me. He reassures me and makes me (most days) feel like everything is going to work out. Together, in Jesus, we will be jussssttttt fine. Prayers are still welcome though ;)


Hillsong United-Forever Reign
You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me  
You are love, You are love  
On display for all to see  
You are light, You are light  
When the darkness closes in  
You are hope, You are hope  
You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace  
When my fear is crippling  
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy  
You're the reason that I sing  
You are life, You are life, In You death has lost its sting

Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms  
The riches of Your love  
Will always be enough  
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign