The birth of my son, John. Part 1:Pregnancy

June 2013
I unexpectedly fell pregnant after my IUD fell out. Wes and I both were balls of emotion. He was in motorcycle mechanic school, and I was nannying beyond full time. We were living in Arizona and he would be graduating in January. It was actually a few days before we even talked about being pregnant/feelings about it/plans.  I was cutting up strawberries for a snack for the kids I nannied for and I gagged. I knew in that moment that I was pregnant. That put me at around 3 weeks and I calculated my due date to be the end of February, right around my birthday. I was desperately wanting to be back in Texas to birth my baby in a familiar place with my midwife and birth team that I trusted and loved.

My pregnancy progressed fairly easily. I came to Texas to visit when I was only around 8 weeks and I got to tell most of my family in person. I was very nauseous and dead. dead. dead. tired but never really threw up like I did DAILY with my pregnancy with Nora. I had a feeling in my gut when 2 lines showed up that I would be having a boy. I was scared. I wanted another girl since that was so familiar to me and the deep love I have for my sister, I wanted Nora to experience that as well.

At around 14 weeks, I found a midwife in Gilbert. It was almost an hour drive but I felt ok there. They didn't pressure me to take tests I wanted to decline or have procedures done that I didn't feel were necessary. At the first appointment, Nora, Wes's mom and I got to hear the heartbeat. That is such a relief and "this is real," moment. I trust my body's ability to sustain life and to carry a baby but hearing that little "whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh," is so comforting. Wes had to go to school so we recorded it for him to hear.

Nora was my sweet little partner through all the long days and nights with Wes away working and going to school. He left the house at around 7:30 and wouldn't get home until around 11:45/12 at night so we would usually only see him on Sundays. She did yoga with me. She snuggled with me. She put up with me bitching and being irritable and emotional. When I got pregnant she was still nursing but it was so excruciatingly painful and was making me crawl out of my skin that I gently encouraged her to wean. 1 month before her 3rd birthday she passed the boobies on to the new baby. My big girl. I was so afraid of what I was doing to her. Our bond is so incredibly special and we are so firmly attached that I had real fear that I was going to ruin it forever. Towards the end of my pregnancy I encouraged her to start sleeping on her own bed next to ours to make the transition a little easier. She would stay on her bed most of the night buuuuuuut she would end up back with me by morning most days. :)

At 20 weeks we had an anatomy scan and made it clear, multiple times, loudly that we did NOT want to know the sex of the baby. After a few minutes of measuring etc. I asked the tech, "Is baby measuring on track with my estimated due date?" and she replied, "He.....The baby is measuring right on!" My heart sunk. She had just spoiled the surprise. We walked out of there and I looked at Wes and said, "She ruined it....she said 'he.'"  Wes looked at me and said, "Oh. I thought she said, 'she.'" We both laughed and figured I guess it wasn't ruined.

I was getting stressed and the urge to settle and nest and get allll the baby crap together was strong. Wes couldn't look for a job in Texas until about 6 weeks before we were due to move. I would be 35 weeks by then. He flew into Dallas to interview at Harley of Paris to try and just get us there. He didn't want to leave the place he had grown to love so much but I felt such a pull to be near my family and to have help that he followed that and went to where I needed to be. He got the job and we packed our house up with the help of my mom and sister. We drove to Texas in one day then crashed.

Our house in Paris was really cute but living there was a major culture shock to me. Small town living I was not used to. After being there for only about 2 weeks (37 weeks pregnant) I moved to my mom's house so I could be closer to my birth center in Denton. I was having some real fear that Wes wouldn't make the 2 hour drive to Denton from Paris to see the birth of our child.

At around 38 weeks 2 days I was having some pretty regular prodromal labor at night. Always around 15 minutes apart but still annoying enough to keep me awake. As soon as the sun would come up, they would dissipate. That week I agreed to get checked. I know it doesn't mean a thing but if I was anywhere near 4, I wanted to call Wes and have him close, just for my own peace of mind. I was at a 3 and about 80% effaced. Jean, my midwife asked if we wanted to try some natural induction methods when Wes was in town on Sunday and I agreed.  As much as I wanted to go into labor spontaneously, having my partner, my love there was more important to me. On Sunday morning, February 16,  my sister and doula, Mel, Wes, and I drove up to the birth center to see if we could have a baby.